when i woke up , like usual , i take my phone and see some notifications ..
i got it , " birthday wishes" , first from my beloved lovely someone that i don't know what should i do call him , my poo ..
then there is a call from onion head , and some bbm , and from my bestiest ziza ..
after i read , and i go to sleep again ..

call for subuh come up , and my sista woke me up ..
the i pray subuh , and when i back to my room i saw some gifts from my sista and brotha , what cute it was ....

and i will tell you about my bestiest ziza , i dont what she mean , she told me that she was very busy , and they have to do her task , i think she doesn't at home .. it is no problem , if she can yo meet me today ..
but , it really to freak , when she update a status in bbm " alhamdulillah mama suka " what is that mean ? i guess she is at home and she gives her mother a gift or something , and she update on twitter " diajak ayahku nonton wayang , galau ikut ga yaa " ..
than , i make a conclusion , she is at home and she doesn't meet me just to to tell happy birthday ..
okay well , i don't know what is goin on my head , there is some that ruined on my head ..

and there is pretty damn ....
did you know the boy with onion head , i hope you know what i mean ..
he too much chat me , and he told me that he want to give a gift, and it should be i have , along ago , but he just can give me in my birthday , buttttttt
he doesn't come to my house to give me that gift , he just sent me a picture , and how surpriseddddddd meeeeee ...
he sent me caricature about me and him , and that picture looks like me when i will be a doctor and he is the patient ..
i really don't know what he thinks , zzzzzzzz

thannnnn last
did you know my insial IF I that is mean izzah and F that is mean f........
i hope a long time there is some text from him , but i did not get it ..
is he forget me ? or is he forget my birthday ? or is he to afraid to send me some text ?
i dunno ...

yeahhhh
that was really freak my birtday story
there are too many changes ...

and the happiest thing is i am stikl alive , till this night
thanks god for giving me the best family and perfect life ..


bonne nite :*

actually i dunno what should i do after did primary test of dermato musculo skletal .
just at home , and quite night ..
as always , my dad still working , and other family asleep ..
i find just me , myself ..
by the way , it takes a long long really long time i never write something on this blog or in my mind exactly .
emm , maybe my english skill getting worst everyday , but i try to write down in english ..
i almost forget the tenses , grammar , vocab , in my mind only medical dictionary that i have to remember , it is awkward ..

i wrote this title about love , but i do not have any ideas pass on my mind ..
love love love ..
why this word always i hear everyday , by from conversation , social media , or by my self .
i really dunno what is the meaning of love is ..
i just felt it is hurting me , just that i know ..
i can love someone that everyday he always hurts me ..
is it called love ????
he never makes me happy ..
smile ? he never makes me smile .
he just does everthing that he wants , he does everything that he likes , he hurts me , and never think abaout my heart , how hurt it is ..
it is killing me ..
and i ?
why am i ?
why do i love him ?
he never makes me happy ! even smile ..
but why ?
it feels more killing me if i am not with him ..
wiyhout him , i am nothing ..
actually i really run from this condition.
sometimes , i try to love other guy , be kind of girl to everyone
but what i get ?
i can not go far away from him ..
he and i very rarely to meet ..
maybe 2 weeks then we meet, or maybe one month ..
our conversation just by send text message , call ? it is the seldom thing that we did..
but why , why , why , i can go from him ..

is it call love ?
love is really hurting me ..
is there anyone can make me smile ?
i do hope and i will love him like i love my self , it can be more than myself :')
seriously ..

yeahhh this is my style ..
emm simple and really comfort ..
thr red maroon is simply romantic and combine with dark blue stripes pant ..
the hijab is really simple , it uses paris jilbab but it looks like beauty ..
and i use purple flat slipper , what kinda comfort it is ..
and it's time to family's day out ..

yahhhh
these are some pictures that i take to memorize the wedding party of my sista .
it takes adat jawa , coz we are javanesee ..
there is some pictures that i think is funny , lol .
my brother can't dance java but the dancer invite him to participate to dance together..

oh welll ...
check these out

Cana dan Oles

by dimassinatrya

and this is my turn 

ohh well , karena saya penasaran banget sama bunga edelweis ini , maka dari itu 
ada teman saya yang berbaik hati memberikan saya bunga edelweis cuma-cuma , 
tidak perlu ke bromo atau ke gunung yang lainnya ..

katanya sih bunga edelweiss ini tidak pernah bisa layu ?? iya kah ?

maka dari itu saya sungguh penasaran , bunga ini ingin saya simpan sampai se layu-layu nya .

kalau benar-benar  tidak layu sampai saya tua nanti , mungkin benar ,
 ini adalah bunga abadi .

yang dilambangkan sebagai cinta abadi , bukan bunga mawar atau bunga yang lainnya ,
 melainkan bunga edelweis ini .

so sweet bukaaaaaan ??

by the way , thanks to my bestiest ahmad syarif hidayatullah

and these are the pictures 

thanks for reading :)